yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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