Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
