I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
