No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
