Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
