whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
