Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
