What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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