i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
