I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
