They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
