who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
