Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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