Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
handjob tips. give me some.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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