love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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