Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There's always time for handjobs
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
