All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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