I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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