Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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