I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
