Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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