You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
