Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
