How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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