My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
