if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize