is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
