i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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