On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize