i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
