The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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