she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
