You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
