I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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