i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
