I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
