is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just pee around me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
