You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
