I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
