I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
