Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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(469): View more from Texas

It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

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(760): View more from California

She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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(720): View more from Colorado

This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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(239): View more from Florida

No I am not eating basil off your cock

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(313): View more from Michigan

At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"

(308): View more from Nebraska

Stop drinking at work.

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(616): View more from Michigan

On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently

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(651): View more from Minnesota

fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me

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