How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
