Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now

(810): View more from Michigan

I'm so hungover and dru,k

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to

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(540): View more from Virginia

the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions

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(415): View more from California

I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though

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