Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
