I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
