sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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