so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
