Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
