lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
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Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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