Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
