Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
