does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have already put on my inside pants.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
