can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
