well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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