I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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