You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
