I love black thongs
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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