You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
