i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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