I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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