Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize