Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
