Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
