just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
