omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
