I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
