this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize