Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
